The thirteenth Day One is behind me. Spent the day with families, which proved rather uneventful. The major student concern is fitting in and seeming normal. The major parental concern is helping their child fit in and seem normal. Conflict lies where the disparity of those two sentiments meet: knowing where to let go and let things happen for either side.
I've been more contemplative lately, reexamining a couple of things with little success. I'm going on about a little depressed: while the summer has been so amazing in so many ways, there are a couple of lingering feelings that refuse to go away no matter what I tell myself. I'm not sure what the answers are to this...in some ways I feel so connected to everything and everyone, yet I still sometimes feel like an outsider even with the people I know best.
It could be that I'm just tired - I was on duty last night, and got MAYBE 2 hours of sleep.
It could be that the summer is winding down - people are doing their last hurrahs, and my choices being what they were for summer, have just been favored until now, and this is just the changing moods.
I think thats what it really is; the contrast of being with so many people lately, yet now so many are hard to remain in contact with. I hope thats all it is, and in some way hope that it resolves itself when school begins again.
So tired...quiet night of duty, but still got no sleep, due to the lumpy couch and lack of air conditioning. Off to bed.
Currently listening to: "Up Around the Bend," Credence Clearwater Revival
Posted by Matthew at July 16, 2002 12:57 AM