May 28, 2002

Confession...

I have a confession to make.

I know, confession is good for the soul. The truth shall set you free.

I can't parallel park. I mean, I could. I did; once, on the driving test at the MVA in Bel Air, MD. That was three years ago.

I've been lucky since then; I've been in situations where I could just pull forward into a spot, and not have to worry. My neighborhood at home is like that. High School was like that.

Philadelphia is different. Take tonight...

My friend Vicki, a fellow Day One Host, had to enlarge some photos. I, being bored, and having resolved to explore the city of Philadelphia (motto: "Confusing DeMizio(s) since 2000") this summer, decided to go with. We took an amazing drive down Kelly Avenue, along the river. It had just rained, and a light mist seemed to hang in the air, creating this brilliant sheen on everything I saw. We found the WalMart in South Philadelphia, with no problems (U-Turn count: 0.)

The WalMart was great, right on the water, before the bridge (which bridge? I don't know, see above motto for city of Philadelphia.) The parking was superb: a large, spacious lot, with generous, easy, pull-in-straight-and-set-the-brake parking. We went in. I found what I needed: batteries, gum, and Orange Juice. Vicki went to try and enlarge her photos on the Kodak Picture Maker Thingie© Machine™

"I can do it this way at home!" she screamed at the clerk.

We left; because the machine wouldn't do what it should be doing. She then resolved to find a Kinkos© So off we drove.

We found the first Kinkos© on Market Street, West of City Hall. It may actually turn out to be a landmark discovery: a Kinkos© that wasn't open 24-hours, as THEIR ADS CLAIM. Fortunately, there was an address for a Kinkos© on the other side of City Hall, also on Market Street.

We found it; a shining jewel among...shiny buildings; a diamond in the rough. (note: children of the early 1990's will hear that phrase, and immedately think of Disney's Aladdin.)

However, there was no parking around. The Philadelphia Police Department (motto: "Confusing DeMizio since 2002, but still better than La Salle "Security,") in their truly amazing gift of foresight, had eneacted temporary parking regulations at all of the nearby meters. These were meters that I could park at. Nope; these were blocked off by white and red signs. There was a heavy police presence in the area that night (had they noticed our escape from La Salle? Were the natives scared? Was that why they had enacted temporary parking ordinances and closed the Kinkos?) and we dared not park. I offered to try a space a block or two away, however, I think I heard they city collecively laugh at me, when they pictured this "country-boy" trying to parallel park.

Vicki gave up at that point, and I agreed. We drove back to La Salle without incident.

North on Broad. Left on Belfield. Right on 20th. Left on Olney. Left into Hayman Lot. Then into a generous, easy, pull-in-straight-and-set-the-brake parking job.

So, two links tonight. The first is to a site about Parking Meters. Everything you always wanted to know about parking meters but were afraid to ask.

The second is in honor of Memorial Day. It is a link that I found on Fark.com, with the simple tag, "Thank You."

Currently reading: Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth by Herman Hesse

Currently dreading: going to work tomorrow for Health Services, where I'll be assembling medical kits, or shredding medical records from '94.

Posted by Matthew at May 28, 2002 12:10 AM
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