I just don't know any more...the last few days have been a blur.
Training is done, finally. Behind Closed Doors, every returner's favorite part where they model "worst case scenarios" for the newbies to practice confrontation, was fantastic. Going in there was a shroud of doubt over the community development team: returners doubting newbies could handle it, and newbies awash in self doubt over the hardest task they'll probably have to face. Coming out of it was a new staff, who knew that they could tackle anything, together. As corny as it sounds, its the truth, and we came away from it all with self confidence blazing.
Freshmen moved in today. My only scheduled shift was at E&F from 7:30am until 9:30. Kinda boring, but a nice change from sitting in Bernard for the past 2 years with all the hussle and bustle of North Dorms going on around me. Still, it was weird...I had this strange left-out feeling. Its weird for me not having a floor to meet new freshmen on...kind of unsettling, as that kind of stuff energizes me as weird as that sounds.
I haven't felt connected much this week at all to anyone, and I'm not sure why... My staff rocks, but we're all different people. We've clicked, but without training, theres not a heck of a lot of times where we're all together. Training was two weeks when I was away from all of my non-RA/CA friends (read: Masque) and I'm just feeling that too...so much that when I'm trying to get people together for something, it falls through. My house seems the same way, although I'm trying...its been so long since I've lived with people that I feel like I've forgotten it. Plus we all are involved to the max, to the point we've been together as a house (all 5 of us) for like 10 minutes thus far.
I guess this is back to normal, life as usual.
I don't know... Its probably my fault completely, but nothing I do seems to fix it...sigh... And it seems like this may all just be the first week talking. Still settling in, y'know?
I'm exhausted. It's 11:30, and I've been up and around since 7:30 this morning, and I'm tired.