DeMizio's Journal

Self-Reliance

"Ne te quaesiveris extra."
(translation below)

If there's anything that I've ever learned about myself that has held true, it would be the idea that I tend to see the "big picture." I see the connections between things. I see, and often choose to connect, the pieces of my life so as to form some sort of order from the randomness. I think that it's a good thing, personally, but that's because I've learned to work in that context...it's a gift usually, and sometimes a hinderance. People yell at me for reading into things too much sometimes, but its usually under control. I'm often astounded at the parallels...

And so tonight, I had the opportunity to read some of Ralph Waldo Emerson's essays for "Democratic Vistas" and had the chance to connect them to my own life. First off, read "Self-Reliance" by clicking here. It's a fantastic essay...basically making the point that self-reliance can be one of the strongest traits that a person can choose to develop in their own life. Boiled down, it comes to being true to oneself. As Emerson writes, "Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another, you have only an extemporaneous, half possession. That which each can do best, none but his Maker can teach him. No man yet knows what it is, nor can, till that person has exhibited it. " On finding yourself: "Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string."

Emerson calls upon the individual to develop fully before society can be developed fully...indeed, goes so far to say, "Society is a wave. The wave moves onward, but the water of which it is composed does not. The same particle does not rise from the valley to the ridge. Its unity is only phenomenal. The persons who make up a nation to-day, next year die, and their experience with them. " It's an interesting statement when viewed in the context of society today." Further, on the disruption of society and of the normalcy that it brings: "Let us affront and reprimand the smooth mediocrity and squalid contentment of the times, and hurl in the face of custom, and trade, and office, the fact which is the upshot of all history, that there is a great responsible Thinker and Actor working wherever a man works; that a true man belongs to no other time or place, but is the centre of things."

One of my greatest fears and faults is not putting enough of myself on the line in my life. I tend to stay the course and keep my mouth shut rather than be outspoken. Consequently, I keep things unsaid, and that grates at me after the opportunity passes. I need to be more assertive sometimes, need to realize that conflict does not equal destruction; that argument does not equal negativity always. To have this stuff come along in such an easy to understand package and for a class is helpful in some way. The big picture still exists and everything keeps getting tied back to it in its own way.

This isn't stuff that is particularly bringing me down currently, it's just always in the back of my mind.

It was actually a pretty decent day actually. The snow cancelled class. I slept in, and then pretty much hung out with Katie in the house for a while today playing video games, watching television and talking. We did watch "Wonder Boys" which is one of my favorite films. I worked on a Collegian redesign for a bit (if we ever get permission to publish on the web again) integrating the new PacMan (chevron) logo into the design. It looks interesting...would love to see it live someday.

Again, I find myself praying for snow for tomorrow. Or sleet. Or hail, ice chunks, frozen penguins or any other "significant weather event" that would cancel classes...solely because I have more classes tomorrow than I had today.

But the smile I spoke of yesterday continues.

TRANS: Do not seek yourself outside yourself.

Posted by Matthew at January 27, 2004 12:15 AM