DeMizio's Journal

And so it goes...

First off, this is an interesting read. I'm looking at it from the perspective of an outsider, having come to Philadelphia 4 years ago after stays in Jersey and Maryland. I see the abuses that Lundy sees, in smaller situations. "Corrupt" cops (so-called, because I don't have a thesarus to find a better word) drinking at Belfield [who still seem to do a decent job whwn called upon], nepotism exists on the same scale in other large cities, municipal bureauracracy that boggles and confuses the mind... In short, I'm not sure what to think about the region. Lundy cites "the history, the diversity and the character" of the region as positives, and the possibilty of an "inferiority complex" existing on a large scale for the area.

I dunno. For some reason, the problems seem small to me. This seems to be a darn nice place to live...

The last couple of days have been according to the routine...work from 8:30 to 4:30...dinner...sometimes a nap. I've been getting down to the tennis courts from 9-10 most nights - after the sun and the heat go down, the lights come on - and just try and hit the ball. If I'm able to bring anyone down that has a racket with me (only Dave and Kelly have them so far...) we'll play. Otherwise, its just me and the wall, trying to work on my shots and become a better player. Then its back here to the house for a shower, reading, and sleep.

Work has been slow this week...slow enough that stuffing folders almost seemed fun for a while as an exercise against the boredom. Theres a camp here this weekend, and theres more stuff next week, but July will be the busy time. I'm trying to get time off at some point during it, but it looks like the only time I'll be home will be for right before training - the first week of August.

My reading habits have finally picked up their steam for the summer. Last week I finished
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon. Its an incredible read...a word we used to use in Cronin's workshop was "stuff" - the details that make a life seem real or that make a book come alive. This book has so much "stuff" that I don't know where to begin. It takes the reader into the world of comic books from the 1930s-1960s and into the lives of two men who would be forever changed by that world: a Jewish immigrant from Prague, escaping Nazi tyranny, and a young New York dreamer stuck in his dead-end job. I knew nothing about comic books before I started, and while I don't feel overly educated into the world of inkers, superheroes and masked men, I never felt like I was in over my head. Its a great read and highly reccomended.

Last night finished Kick Me: Adventures in Adolescence by Paul Feig. A funny, quick read, about the horrors of adolescence from the guy that seems to have been through the worst of it all. Feig is the one who developed the underground smash "Freaks and Geeks" for television. Not much other to say than that...its a fun read, laughs abound, and my mind boggles as to how it all could be true.

I'm now working my way through Atlas Shrugged again...I passed the hundred page barrier today, and it has me in its grip. This time I will finish it.

So yeah, thats about it for now...lifes pretty busy, but good.

Happy Birthday Ali!

Weekend was crazy - here's the gist:

Friday - worked checkin until 5pm at Hayman. Blah. Watched TV into the night...
Saturday - worked 12-7 in the theater for a dance recital. After the recital, drove with Angie down to Baltimore through pouring rain, fog and other nastiness for Ali's 21st Birthday. Partied until 4AM...when I crashed on their floor. The party was great: many, many people who I had never met before, and then some random Masque people who had managed to come down. Dave is a great cook. Richie has to stop drinking and swear not to sell out. Ali is a fun drunk. Stage four sucks. Sleeping on a wood floor hurts the next morning.
Sunday - I managed to stop off at home and make it back to La Salle on something like 4 hours of sleep. Thank God for coffee from the Chesapeke House. Before leaving, we made it to the Inner Harbor, and my first trip up to Federal Hill. I really wish that I had remembered my camera, because there were some great picture opportunites at the party and at the harbor.

And now I'm losing coherence, and I'm tired, and work is coming back up at 8:30 tomorrow.

Apples to apples

I went home on Friday, needing to get the heck out of Philly and wanting to spend some time with the parents...hadn't seen them since I moved into Miguel in May.

Friday: Friday, I drove home with Myrick for the first time in the new car. Dropped Matt off at the train station in Baltimore and drove home and just hung out. We went out to dinner at Vito's, a local Italian place and watched "Catch Me If You Can." My father loved it, I had seen it twice before, so I kind of read along with it.

I had called Ali earlier in the day and I was (surprisingly) able to find her house without getting lost. Her house rocks - its a typical Baltimore rowhome, old, with lots of defunct fireplaces. Its beautiful though - in a much better neighborhood than I originally thought. We were all exhausted - them after long days of work, me after the drive - and we just kind of sat around and watched the end of the Orioles game, sang along to Newsies, and played this "Apples to Apples" card game.

Two pictures, first of Ali, second of Cristin:

I left at one and promptly crashed as soon as I got home.

Saturday: Saturday was pretty boring and mundane - slept too late to help my sister move out. Went to her apartment and was impressed - pretty decent for what shes paying, and her roommates seem cool.

Saturday night, I stopped off at the movie theater where I used to work, having the feeling that I'd run into Brendan. His car was there, and I surprised him. My hope was to possibly get together and do something that night, but he had plans already... I wound up talking to my boss though for a bit, and it seems like I could have my old job back if I ever wanted it. Good to know with this economy - the job sucks because of all the customer service with it, but the pay is pretty decent after three years invested into it. I went back home and watched "Tears of the Sun" with my parents again - I know, pathetic...but it was nice, perhaps part of a father's day gift for my father, and a late mother's day gift for my mother.

Sunday: Nothing happened. I didn't drive back to La Salle like I should have - just wasn't feeling all that great, and the thought of another night in my bed at home kept me there.

I wound up leaving on Monday morning, making it back to La Salle by 2, and working until 4:30. Tonight I spent 2 1/2 hours out...I wanted to go see Shannon at work, and surprise her. So, wanting company along for the ride, I picked up Veitz at his house, and tried to find this place near Collingdale. Unfortunately US Route 13 is the worst road ever - we lost the road five or six times, and just got completely lost after widning through what seemed like ALL OF PHILADELPHIA (we saw the Zoo, Belmont plateau, Mann Music Center, University City, the Sports Complexes, Walt Whitman Bridge, etc), that we had to turn back at like 10:30. I still had fun though, even though Brian kept criticizing and making fun of my driving.

I got back here and crashed...and its off to sleep now, after a surprisingly full weekend. Back to work tomorrow at 8:30am. sigh.

Currently listening to: The Ataris, "So Long, Astoria"

Tomorrow, I will be home.

This rain tonight was fantastic. It hasn't poured like that since I can remember. It reminded me of last summer - running through the rain in shorts and a T-Shirt just because it was happening, splashing in puddles and otherwise just enjoying the relief from the stifiling heat.

I'm going home with Myrick tomorrow in the early afternoon. I have no particular reason for going, even actually having a reason not to go - that my sister is moving out on Saturday and I'll have to help the move - but with the lack of excitement here, its probably the most exciting decision. I'm looking forward to seeing a couple of people, and maybe seeing a movie or two (if I can still sneak in for free.) I had heard that Brendan had gone back - seeing him would probably make this trip for me.

I'm racking my brain to think of stuff to write here...and its coming up blank today. Work is good: slow, but good. La Salle as an institution and I are a bit at odds for a bunch of reasons that I can and can't talk about right now (some of which only exist in my mind...) and I feel like I'm coming up to a mid-college-life crisis of "Why am I here and what am I doing?"

I'm just looking forward to this weekend right now - everything else be damned...hopefully, some clarity will come from being home.

"The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware" - Henry Miller

Mike Imperato's Move

Today taught me not to help someone move when you're hung over.

Mike Imperato, my supervisor from last year, recently became employed at Gwyned Mercy College as their Associate Director for Residence Life. Today he had to move out of his place in Teresa Court, and asked for any help he could get from people. I showed up at 11am, after waking up at 10:30, after going to bed at 4am.

Last night was spent watching Dumb and Dumber with Linday, Kelly and Dave...and having a few drinks. The world was spinning when I went to bed - thankfully, sleep came almost instantenously. Vick and Veitz also came up yesterday, and it was cool seeing them both.

So anyhow, made it to the house and was feeling fine. Felt fine until the early afternoon when the dizziness kicked in again, and I realized I hadn't had any water since the night before... Mike had rented a U-Haul truck, which, if you walked in the back of (as I did) made you feel like you were on this strange boat as the weight displaced itself...it just brought back thoughts of the night before. Luckily again, my stomach weathered the day none the worse for wear.

Anyhow, the move went splendidly. We finished up around 7:30, and spent until 9:00 talking to Mike in his apartment Mike's stuff is spread between La Salle and there (hes living in the townhouses for 4 weeks.) He was getting rid of some stuff - I managed to get a rather large glass that would be perfect for a tropical drink (with an inscription from an RA conference from many years ago), a Coca-Cola TV tray, a book and CD on the GRE (I need to get on that...) and a Heniekin hat.

It felt good just to be able to help him out...over the years I feel I've been a little cruel to him with my help in the T-Shirts, and other little staff things, despite the fact that he's an incredible guy, someone I try and role model, and a damn good friend in many different situations. It was the least I could do for him in helping him move after all he's helped me with over the years at La Salle.

All right, enough mushy stuff...my body is tired and sore after the moving today, and theres work tomorrow.

It was a decent weekend.

Begin: 10:15PM

Begin: 10:15PM

last cigarette: Never, thank God...
last kiss: Couple of months...
last good cry: About a month ago, I think, around the end of school
last library book checked out: probably a play by Neil Simon
last movie seen: "The Andromeda Strain" on AMC on Sunday
last book read: "All in the Timing" by David Ides (alright, they're plays, but hell...last book I've been reading is "Atlas Shrugged," although I haven't finished it yet.)
last cuss word uttered: F$%^, during theater work today
last beverage drank: lemonade
last food consumed: Cheesesteak from D'Alasandros
last crush: Oh geez...do they have to know? :)
last phone call: to my parents at home tonight
last tv show watched: Law & Order tonight
last time showered: this morning at like 7:45AM
last shoes worn: Black sneakers
last cd played: "Rush of Blood to the Head," Coldplay
last item bought: soap at the bookstore
last thing downloaded: some Rolling Stones songs that Brian's party reminded me of...(Mother's Little Helper, Wild Horses, Let's Spend the Night Together)
last annoyance: The director of the play we're working for this week who demands Broadway out of her 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th grade students
last disappointment: not being able to leave work at 4pm like I hoped...
last soda drank: Cherry Coke, from the machine in the community center
last thing written: Housing Contract for next year :) (or a short story for Cronin...the toll collector one, can't remember the title.)
last key used: VA63 to lock the theater today
last word spoken: "John" (as in "Good night, John")
last sleep: Last night...too short.
last sexual fantasy: No one really needs to know this.
last weird encounter: hmmm...tied between running into Mike Imperato at my freind's grad party Saturday, or meeting up with the honors people at 1am in the townhouses afterwards while slightly drunk.
last ice cream eaten: Cookies and Cream
last time amused: today with Jas and Angie
last time wanting to die: In the cats, writing cues for the show today
last time in love: I don't think I've ever been in a state where I've ever not been in love...in that I am in love with something or someone pretty consistently no matter what.
last time hugged: Aymee and Margaret on Saturday night
last time scolded: today, same darn director
last time resentful: Today
last chair sat in: here, now.
last lipstick used: never
last underwear worn: clean
last bra worn: never
last shirt worn: Polo shirt, black (yeah, how strange of me to wear a polo shirt)
last time dancing: Masque Formal
last poster looked at: My Monet posters in my room.
last show attended: a movie, "A Mighty Wind" the night of my accident
last webpage visited: Slashdot, yes, I am a nerd.
1 MINUTE AGO: making my bed
1 HOUR AGO: watching Law and Order
1 DAY AGO: Sitting outside Angie's talking with her and Jas
1 WEEK AGO: Working in the theater on last week's group
1 YEAR AGO: Day One training on 6/3/02
I HURT: when I hurt people by saying something that I know I don't mean but I can't figure out why I said it.
I LOVE: sitting in the theater with Jas and Angie cracking jokes and making the job bearable.
I HATE: writer's block, cold weather like this that keeps me inside
I FEAR: rejection, loneliness, driving people away
I HOPE: for everything
I FEEL: tired, but happy.
I HIDE: I think my true self and my true opinions...something I'm working on
I DRIVE: 1997 Toyota Corolla
I MISS: people on campus
I LEARNED: Trying to repeat the past is futile, nothing can ever be as it was.
I NEED: love, sleep, friends around me
I THINK: I wonder what people will think of these answers.
current music: Bruce Springsteen
current taste: Nothing
current hair: bushy, perhaps a cut this weekend
current annoyance: the group here this week in the theater
current smell: whatever my room smells like
current thing i should be doing: sleeping, running
current desktop picture: none, just black...I need to find something
current refreshment: nothing
current worry: who's going to read this
1. What do you most like about your body?: a lot...its gotten me through a lot despite me treating it like crap a lot.
2. And least: 1) weight, 2) my left ankle which I sprained once and has never healed correctly, so its a pain to walk on sometimes...wants to sprain itself.
3. How many fillings do you have?: three, I believe
4. Do you think you're good looking?: I guess, I hope....
5. Do other people often tell you that you're good looking?: No one recently...
6. Do you look like any celebrities?: If I shave my head, Drew Carey. If I put a hat on, Michael Moore

Done at 10:39 - I copied it from Scott.

So there we go...I know, finally an update.

The last week has been hectic. I show up for work in the theater at 8am, and most days don't get off until 6pm. Yesterday, I finally saw "Noises Off" with Angie and Jas. It has to be one of the funniest movies I've ever seen...I went out and ordered the book last night from Samuel French, just to be able to remember it as it was. It was just a really nice, enjoyable night out with two friends. Doing that was the major reason to stay in Philadelphia - to just be able to go out after work and enjoy some time with friends.

Did you ever get a feeling of deep rememberance and longing for the past when you're in a moment that you see something or someone who reminds you of your past? Its a vague question, but I had vivid moments remembering times exactly like last night in high school...and I just felt like I could almost go back, or like I wanted to go back, or something...I think it was just a recognition of feeling completely comfortable with some people, and just wanting to fall into that moment forever.

Saturday was Brian Veitz's graduation party. Good times all around, glad to have gone. I stayed until it ended at like 12:30am. It was just a really nice time despite the weather - sitting under a tent in the backyard drinking and talking with friends. Its going to be weird not having Brian here...he was probably the person I was closest to. We always did dinner together when no one else was around. Not sure whats going to happen now, although theres talk of having Veitz fan club dinners with Fala, Julie, Vicki, Finnegan and stuff...I'm really going to miss the guy.

Theater work this work is going smoothly, even if its not as fun as last week. Eight AM mornings are killing me; I have to get to bed earlier.

I've finally decided that I'm going to try and reinvent myself in the areas that I want to change over the summer - drop a couple of pounds and get in shape, try to become more assertive, and become more more expressive and open with some things. I'm not hoping or expecting anything drastic, but why not? Theres nothing but time and opportunity here now. The blogging will continue, don't worry...