August 22, 2003


Disregard the last entry...

Sometimes just getting out of your shell works wonders. The night improved tremendously, and it seems like everything was just due to my being tired as heck. Who knew?

So I feel like an ass for writing it, but feel a heck of a lot better tonight after just hanging out with people and talking.

Good to be back again.

[Listening to: Fire And Rain .... - by James Taylor - The Concert For New York 10-20-01 (09:06)]
Posted by Matthew at 03:11 AM | Comments (3)

August 21, 2003

Feeling like an outsider...

I just don't know any more...the last few days have been a blur.

Training is done, finally. Behind Closed Doors, every returner's favorite part where they model "worst case scenarios" for the newbies to practice confrontation, was fantastic. Going in there was a shroud of doubt over the community development team: returners doubting newbies could handle it, and newbies awash in self doubt over the hardest task they'll probably have to face. Coming out of it was a new staff, who knew that they could tackle anything, together. As corny as it sounds, its the truth, and we came away from it all with self confidence blazing.

Freshmen moved in today. My only scheduled shift was at E&F from 7:30am until 9:30. Kinda boring, but a nice change from sitting in Bernard for the past 2 years with all the hussle and bustle of North Dorms going on around me. Still, it was weird...I had this strange left-out feeling. Its weird for me not having a floor to meet new freshmen on...kind of unsettling, as that kind of stuff energizes me as weird as that sounds.

I haven't felt connected much this week at all to anyone, and I'm not sure why... My staff rocks, but we're all different people. We've clicked, but without training, theres not a heck of a lot of times where we're all together. Training was two weeks when I was away from all of my non-RA/CA friends (read: Masque) and I'm just feeling that much that when I'm trying to get people together for something, it falls through. My house seems the same way, although I'm trying...its been so long since I've lived with people that I feel like I've forgotten it. Plus we all are involved to the max, to the point we've been together as a house (all 5 of us) for like 10 minutes thus far.

I guess this is back to normal, life as usual.

I don't know... Its probably my fault completely, but nothing I do seems to fix it...sigh... And it seems like this may all just be the first week talking. Still settling in, y'know?

I'm exhausted. It's 11:30, and I've been up and around since 7:30 this morning, and I'm tired.

[Listening to: Theme From Hill Street Blues - by Mike Post - Sounds Of The 80's: TV Themes (03:10)]
Posted by Matthew at 11:45 PM | Comments (0)

August 10, 2003

Semi-Annual Thank You's (vol. 1)

So, with 6:30PM on August 9th officially come and gone, it means that summer is officially over. I got back to campus early today to the boxes and bags that littered my room. I finally got everything unpacked and cleaned up around 2 hours later. I banged the hell out of my big toe when I was setting up the living room...stupid La Salle couch. Training looks like its going to be fun - its a totally different group of people to get used to. It promises to be a fun 2 weeks.

So, without further ado, and in no order whatsoever, I want to do my semi-annual thank you list of the people who have meant something to me or who have helped out for the summer...

  • To Veitz - for the Guinness Extra Stout that night...incredible beer. Thanks more, though, to being here for as many times as you were. I always had a good time - whether at the ballgame, or with friends from the NE...I laughed a lot.
  • To Fala - thanks for putting up with my random temperments and strange personality quirks. Thanks for your cooking as well, that chicken rocked. It was a great summer.
  • To Angie - Thanks for putting up with my random technical abilities in the theater and making it as much fun as it was on the headset.
  • To Jasmind - for every day of work this summer - for making a boring and random job really bearable and fun.
  • To Rose - ditto for Jasmind...especially for putting up with my whines on a daily basis, and for the cool stuff I lined up for the year.
  • To Fallows - thanks for the meals you cooked, and for the interesting conversations.
  • To Ali, Cristin, and the Poppleton Street Posse - thanks for the parties and the nights of randomness. Most fun I've had in Baltimore in a long time.
  • To Dave - for those AWESOME waffles after Ali's 21st...they were incredible
  • To John - for the party at your're still my favorite traffic guy.
  • To Tennis Club - for the tennis, of course.

Thats the end of volume I can't think of any others and I'm exhausted.

Its good to be back in Philly.

[Listening to: Fire And Rain .... - by James Taylor - The Concert For New York 10-20-01 (09:06)]
Posted by Matthew at 01:35 AM | Comments (0)

August 06, 2003

Square lenses?

A boring entry follows, but not much is happening.

The more time I spend in Baltimore, the more that I fall in love with the city. All right, the time I spent today was at the Inner Harbor and Fells Point, but its still pretty representative of the city at large. I went down primarily to visit two friends at work - Ali, working at Destination Baltimore, and Cristin, working in Fells Point. For no extra fee, I got to see Dave for a while too. I wish we could have met under better conditions with Ali working and Cristin sick, but it was still good to see them. I hadn't been to the Inner Harbor since my last trip up around a month ago, and I hadn't been to Fells Point since forever.

Had a good time downtown...rode the Water Taxi from the Light Street Pavillion to Fells Point. The weather was perfect - the rain that came in tonight was nowhere in sight and a cool breeze was coming off the water. Fantastic afternoon to be downtown.

The eye exam went well on Monday. Without glasses, I found out I'm 20/600, a far cry from the 20/15 that I have with them on. The whole 20-whatever system was explained to me too, in that what the first number is the distance that would be normal to see it at, and the second number is the actual distance I'd be able to see it. Kinda scary that the eyes have degraded that far. There was no change in prescription though. I did get a new pair of glasses - smaller, and more square-ish lenses.

So far, no ones noticed the difference.

So that's been about it for the past few days. I'm tired, and have a list of todos for tomorrow.

Currently Listening to: "Hard Candy" by the Counting Crows

Posted by Matthew at 01:14 AM | Comments (1)

August 04, 2003

Amazing what 60 feet of cable can do...

The most impressive thing that I'll have to show for this break at home will be that my old computer on my desk (the one that got me through high school...a Packard Bell Pentium system thats been upgraded in pretty much every area but processor...a Pentium 133 will run Win2000 with 84MB of RAM and a $10 network card that I salvaged from dead computers...) now runs off of the DSL line in the house. Not bad for 50 feet of CAT5 Patch and one crossover cable.

I'm finally home.

I just want to let that sink in. Thats all I need to know and remember for the week. I can finally have an "old-fashioned" summer: sleeping till 10, 11, or 12...movies with friends, no thoughts of conferences, work, or anything other than relaxation.

So far I've gone to Hoyt's - now Regal, although in my mind, always Hoyt's - once. This was the place where I worked for three summers and saw pretty much every movie that came out for three straight years. Its the same old, same old... I did get to see Brendan though, one of the kids I graduated CHC with. Brendan is probably my oldest and closest friend at this point. We just hung out for a couple hours after work. Went to a late night breakfast at the Nautilus Diner down York Road. Talked about movies, life, graduation, and whatever...just a good time.

I needed that night...I've missed Brendan a lot. I feel as though I've never had a tangible past, that people have really just vanished behind the boxes of the various moves I've made. Brendan right now is my link to high school...hes a damn good friend, and someone I've missed too much.

(oh yeah, this is to any old friends who are around this week - give me a call, or drop me an IM...I have nothing but time.)

Tomorrow will be spent getting my eyes checked and possibly new glasses. I have no idea what style to get (although I'm gonna go for smaller lenses, as is my trend from the gigantic aviators I wore in high school...) but I just want new, unscratched lenses.

I think I'm going to sit now and try and get something written. I have no idea what - a play, or a scene or a short story. I just feel in the groove and enjoying this computer working again.

Oh yeah, before I forget - to all of my friends who are currently freaking out about everything in their lives - jobs, school, the fall, teachers, family, whatever - STOP hasn't happened yet, and your worst fears aren't going to happen. Worry is so counter-productive and wasteful. Make your choices, and let whatever happens, happen. Then deal with it: for better, or for worse. Life is too short to keep worrying about what could or might happen.

Posted by Matthew at 01:42 AM | Comments (1)